【告别演说】¶
猴哥离开工作三年的美国联邦社保局项目，调任联邦食品药品监管局项目。欢送午餐会上，猴哥做告别演说。
Ten Things I Learn from You (我从你们身上学到的十点）
(1)
You are not a virtual machine. You cannot be programmed like this: If you don’t get your work done by COB (close of business) today I will come and scold you If you don’t listen to me I will give you hard time
你们不是虚拟机器。人们不能对你如此编写程序控制你： 如果你今天完不成任务，我就给你颜色看； 如果你不听从指挥，我就给你小鞋穿。
(2)
You are not a vending machine. There is no slot to accept bills and coins. There are no buttons that can be pushed.
你们不是自动售货机。你们没有投币口， 也没有按钮可以让人随意使用。
(3)
You are actually a human being. What a surprise!
原来你们是人。好奇怪！
(4)
You have a family. Who would have thought of that! You are a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, a husband, a wife, a friend, a neighbor.
谁会想得到你们还有家庭！你们是父亲，母亲，儿子，女儿，丈夫，妻子，朋友，邻居。
(5)
Each and every one of you is unique. You look different, you talk different, you laugh different. You all have different interests. There is no one size that fits you all.
你们每一个人都是独特的。你们长相不同，谈吐不同，笑容不同。你们的兴趣也不同。真是难以找到一个统一标准来衡量你们。
(6)
You are happy when you are left alone. Except when I stop by, you are always happy to see me. At least you appear to be。
当没人监控你们时，你们就快乐。除了我来找你们是例外。你们见到我总是很高兴。至少装得如此。
(7)
You are productive when you are happy. Now you know all the jokes I told are my bribery to you.
当你们快乐时，你们工作效率就高。现在你们明白我给你们讲的所有笑话实际上都是我给你们的贿赂。
(8)
When I pay respect to you, you pay me back. This is the only investment I ever made that has a positive return.
当我尊重你们，你们也尊重我。这是我的所有投资中唯一有正回报的。
(9)
When I take care of you, you take care of me. 当我关照你们，你们也关照我。
(10)
You have big hearts. You tolerate and forgive me for all the mistakes I have made and the wrongs I have done. I thank you for that!
你们心胸宽阔。你们容忍和原谅我的所有过错和不当。我对此非常感激！
Love, Jay, the Wang (one) and the only.
爱你们的， 独一无二的杰王
注：王字的读音和英文one（一）的读音相似。the one and the only 是独一无二。
